Powered by a whole foods plant based diet, a well dressed penguin and an over-active imagination

Role Playing

I saw this headline “Marine threw himself onto grenade” and it reminded me of the old days role playing:

DM: You’re searching through the enemy compound for bomb making apparatus when someone trips a hand grenade booby trap, what do you do?
Zig: it was the cleric wasn’t it? OK jump on the grenade and absorb the explosion with my backpack
DM: wtf? your shitting me.
Zig: it’s a small target, with my dex I should land on it with a 12 or higher on a d20
DM: it’s a frickin handgranade… you’re going to jump on it?
Random Party Member: dude don’t do it, we can make our saves
Zig: listen you mamby pamby elf loving vapid wastrel if I don’t do this you’ll all take damage, some of you will probably even die. I have the hit points and the con and I’m not interested in hanging out in this shit hole doing sentry duty and fighting off fuck knows what while you wine and complain and heal your wimpy arses. Roll initiative if you want to try and stop me.
Random Party Member: he’s right you know it should be much easier to make the save for dodging pieces of Zig.
Zig: Elf lover.
DM: (shrugs) OK… roll me a d20
Zig: 20!
DM: yep you land fair and square on the grenade. Now roll a- shit is this a save or a critical? Forget it, it doesn’t matter. Just roll a d100 for me, and make it good!
Zig: 42!
DM: (shaking head) OK lets see… your backpack is toast, don’t even ask me if it gets a save. And you have a, yep you have a bloody nose. And you should give me chocolate before I change my mind. The rest of you make saving throws to avoid being hit by Zig’s backpack on the way back down.

Zig where-ever you are I hope you’re still rolling them high.